


Crochet or Croquet

by WhiteFireDaydreams



Category: The Hobbit (Jackson Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Bilbofur - Freeform, Boffins - Freeform, Bofur is dumb and overthinks things but I still love him, Crochet, Fluff, M/M, Miscommunication, Mutual Pining, Romantic Soulmates, Soulmate-Identifying Marks, Soulmates
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-28
Updated: 2020-11-09
Packaged: 2021-03-08 22:14:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 7,692
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27254002
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WhiteFireDaydreams/pseuds/WhiteFireDaydreams
Summary: Dwarves have a phrase above their heart, the first words their One will ever speak to them.Hobbits have a black mark somewhere on their bodies, the first place they will ever touch their Heartmate, that explodes into a riot of colours on contact.Bofur's words aren't normal and all he wants is to find his One.
Relationships: Bilbo Baggins/Bofur
Comments: 32
Kudos: 165





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [I Found You](https://archiveofourown.org/works/23571175) by [bananzer](https://archiveofourown.org/users/bananzer/pseuds/bananzer). 



> Thank you to Bananzer! Please check out her fic if you want to see more of this AU with some other shippings. 
> 
> I did this chapter very quickly so if you have any corrections/critique please let me know! Now enjoy the terrible pun related mishaps

So Bofur's word's are "It's supposed to look like that, it's crochet." Definitely not the traditional "So and so, at your service." Which was embarrassing not to mention inconvenient. He had no name to go off and a word he'd never heard in his life permanently etched over his heart. What even was a crochet? It definitely didn't belong down the mines.

He was sick of being teased for having such an odd hoipolloi One. He had been told by his forman one day that he didn't need to worry about his future because clearly he was going to be "kept" someday and it made Bofur boil over. He lay in bed that night and decided he was going to get out of those mines and he did.

It took quite a while but soon he was good enough to go with Bifur. He could help make toys and do some of the sales side of things. He was so happy to be going out into the wider world where hopefully he wouldn't get laughed at for asking what crochet was. Maybe he'd get to meet his One. Out under the stars with his brother and cousin he dreamed of meeting some dwarrow in a crowded market place.

His first experience however taught him that he hadn't fully grasped the possibility of the word crowded before. At midday there was a continuously tightly clustered flow of people passing the stall. Men being so tall it made it feel endless from Bofur's height. It also meant leaving the stall was a nightmare. No one saw him coming as he tried to weave his way to getting lunch. And even more disappointingly not a dwarrow in sight. Although he thanked Mahal none of the men or women had said his unusual words. They weren't all bad, some were very nice, friendly if not a little over curious, but the others seemed to question their craftsmanship! It was above rude. They asked for discounts without offering anything actually useful or of high quality when bartering.

His first trip to the land of men and Bofur was thoroughly disillusioned and downtrodden.

On one of the rare occasions they got to close up shop early Bofur decided to use some of the courage and hope he had left to atleast get something out of this trip. Him and Bombur had gone to the inn and sat upon an oversized table.

"I'll get the drinks!" Bofur weaved his way up to the bar. He popped up in a space next to a man on his own drinking on a bar stool. "4 pints of ale." He said to the bar keep and glanced at the man next to him. He was shabby and probably slightly too drunk already. Bofur looked around to see if there was anyone else he could ask but most seemed to be in small groups talking already so as he slid some coins onto the bar for the ale the barkeep was handing over. It churned his stomach but before he headed back he looked at the man again.

"I- uh, do you know what crochet is?"

The man turned a sleepy eye down to look at him and grunted. "I don't know, some kind of game you need balls to play."

Bofur frowned deeply as the man turned back to his drink as he sloshed half of it onto the table.

Bofur sat down opposite Bombur and clattered the mugs on the table.

"Bo, what's wrong?"

"Oh, um, nothing." There was a moment of awkward silence. "Apparently it's a game."

"What?"

"Crochet, it's a game."

"Oh, I suppose that's good to know."

Bofur sulkily drank the first pint. Bombur had been lucky, his words were the traditional kind. He had the name of his One over his heart not some name of a silly game.

He doesn't remember exactly what happened the rest of that night. He knows he didn't get as drunk as he would have liked and as he lay under the stars he wondered what those words meant. Some kind of game you need balls to play. He does remember his relatives whispering once they thought he was asleep. Worrying over him.

He did his best after that, not to bring it up anymore. To accept that someone, his One, would one day say those words to him and there was no way of forcing it. Apparently no way of really understanding it either.

Even though Bofur hadn't talked about it to anyone in years he still lay in bed like he had that night going over those words. "Some kind of game you need balls to play." Did it mean it was a game you used balls to play or did it mean you needed to be brave to play it? Was his One an athlete or were they daring? "It's supposed to look like that-" Would he meet his One while they were playing this game or would they both be spectators? He'd give his moustache to know which kind of balls the man had meant. He should have asked, why didn't he ask?

Bombur rolled over to face Bofur as he stared at the ceiling. "What are you thinking about?"

"Balls." He replied without thought and drifted into his mind again.

"You know," Bombur said tentatively. "you can tell me if you're into men."

Bofur suddenly realised what that had sounded like. "No, I meant like figurative balls. I'm not thinking about those balls- well I mean I am now but I wasn't." Bofur immediately felt his stomach scrunch up. It was too late for this.

"It's okay, Bo, I really don't mind."

"My current state of homoerotic thought is your fault not mine!"

"Why is it my fault!?"

"You brought up Balls, I was thinking about balls."

"You were thinking about balls!"

"What in Mahal's name is going on in there!?" Both dwarves froze as Bifur grumpily opened their room's door. "The sun's nearly up. Stop talking about Bofur's sexuality and go to sleep!"

"I'm not-" Bofur stopped as Bifur's eyes turned onto him with all the sternness as if they were misbehaving children. He pulled the covers up over his head and groaned as he flopped over onto his stomach.

And now both of them were convinced Bofur was interested in men. Which wasn't exactly wrong, like most dwarves he didn't care much about gender but he wouldn't be opposed to having a dwarrowdam like Bombur's One, having kids. A kid. At least. It was unlikely though, with so few female dwarves. Besides, Mahal had chosen his One for him. He didn't intend to go courting before his One anyway, so who cared what genders he prefers? All this aside the testicle jokes were getting old and soon they did die down as they all forgot/Bofur made bigger cock ups that were even easier to joke about.

Free booze was something Bofur could get aboard and he had never disliked an adventure. Good fun to be on the road with friends and family. Although he had managed to forget how fond og pinching things Nori was and how much he and Dori fought. Of course him and Bombur and Bif would argue and tease each other but they cared for one another and knew where to stop. Dori didn't seem to be able to do the stopping part. He was either criticizing Nori or praising Ori. Or talking about high society things that Bofur didn't for the life of him understand. Maybe Dori would know what kind of game crochet was? He'll ask him later, after all it's going to be months before they even reach Erebor. Tonight he's going to enjoy all the drinks Thorin promised him.

Going to The Shire was exciting too. Obviously, missing most of what Bofur imagined would be a lively little town, it being so dark. He liked Hobbiton all the same. He hadn't met many hobbits when they'd been selling their toys but the ones he had met he'd liked a lot. Generally they'd been very jovial and friendly.

Bilbo Baggins on the other hand seemed quite determined not to be either of these stereotypes. Despite his obvious anger it barely registered to most of the dwarves. In Bofur's honest opinion their potential burglar was adorable as he shouted at the others.

"Put that back. Put that back! That's a tad excessive isn't it? Do you have a cheese knife?"

"Cheese knife? He eats it by the block." Bofur grinned as he walked away from Bilbo as he huffed indignantly.

Bofur chewed on the boild egg he hadn't thrown to Bombur. He could see Bilbo from the corner of his eye if he turned around a bit. Grumpily skulking in the pantry. It was a shame Bilbo was in such a bad mood, he was very handsome, bare face aside. The shirt and the braces was a very attractive look. Bofur's thoughts were cut off as he took a slice of ham to the head. Then he was back into the fray of a good meal.

After cleaning up the mess they'd made, Bofur was happily sipping on some more ale. He felt very happy. Full and tipsy.

"That is a dollie not a dishcloth." Bilbo snatched the scrap of fabric from Nori.

"But it's full of holes."

"It's supposed to be like that, it's crochet."

"Oh yes, a wonderful game it is too. If you've got the balls for it."

Bofur had replied almost on automatic and then he was staring at Bilbo as he angrily flung the white cloth down. He was angry? What had he done wrong? Had he said the wrong words for Bilbo? Was he not Bilbo's One? He felt his throat drying out. Did hobbits not have Ones? Please Mahal this wasn't happening.

"What on earth is the matter?" asked Gandalf.

"What's the matter? I'm surrounded by dwarves. What are they doing here?"

Bofur felt his stomach drop, was it because he was a dwarf then? No such a polite angry hobbit would have surely had the decency to reject him.

Bofur wasn't proud of the dragon incident. It was just all the anxiety that Bilbo might not feel the same for him spilling over. If he could take it back he would.

He felt wretched the next morning and it wasn't just the hangover. He thought he had been the reason his One wasn't coming with them. The other's joked and laughed, while 

Bofur pretended it was simply his headache that had him staring at the road in front of them blankly. He knew Nori was suspicious of his silence and Bifur and Bombur riding silently behind him felt like he was being watched very closely. He just wished, for the first time in his life, that he wasn't a dwarf. That he'd have known why they'd made him so upset. 

He thought about Bilbo's curly short hair. What colour exactly was it? He hadn't even managed to memorise what his One looked like! 

"Wait! Wait!" 

Bofur tugged on the reins and turned around in the saddle.

"There, I've signed it."

As Balin looked over the contract Bofur could have started singing. He'd come. Their burglar. His One.

Bofur wished he'd been close enough to Bilbo to help lift him onto a pony. Even if he'd have been behind him it would have been better. Then he could have looked at him, studied his hair and remembered what colour it was this time. Instead, all he could do was glance back occasionally and get puzzled looks from his family.

But he was here. He could worry about where it was best to be in relation to how they were traveling tomorrow. Hah, tomorrow and the next day. He'd get to see Bilbo tomorrow, tonight and for weeks on this journey. He could get to know him, make up for eating all his food and drinking his ale. 

"Wait, wait. Stop! We have to go back, I've forgotten my handkerchief."

"Here, use this." Bofur ripped the fabric without a thought and didn't catch the disgusted look Bilbo had on his face. He was too busy grinning to himself. He'd helped Bilbo and he could keep on helping him. He could lend a hand to Bilbo this entire journey. Make friends with him by helping him.  
He would do better for his One. Make sure he made it back to his beautiful home in The Shire.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bilbo's journey is going from odd event to odd event.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for the amazing support! It's really blown my mind, I hope you all like this next chapter <3
> 
> It's a bit longer than the last and if my wifi hadn't given out I swear it'd have come out a bit sooner..
> 
> Anyway! I did get some useful critique for the last chapter that the end of the chapter was a bit rushed so if you read it ages ago you might wanna check out the end again ;) doesn't affect it at all but I just added in some Bofur overthinking

Why was he doing this? Why on Yavanna's green earth was he doing this? Running away with Dwarves, being sneezed on by trolls and enduring sleepless nights on hard uneven ground.

Bilbo wanted to go home. Adventuring was not fun. It was raining, he was tired, hungry, his clothes actually crunched when he lifted his arms too high and now it was raining even harder. He could hear the dwarves laughing around the sputtering fire. Damn them. Damn them all. He shakily pulled his damp coat tighter around himself.

He should just do it. Tell them that no mountain or gold was worth this. Turn around and make his way home. Home to a warm bed, a hot cup of tea and his garden. Go back to safety and a solitude that didn't include dwarves talking about him in Dwarvish when he was standing right there. When he knew they knew he'd heard them say his name several times and yet they kept doing it! They didn't want him here and he didn't want to be here, so why stay?

Bilbo felt a weight drop onto his shoulders and he spun round on instinct. It felt a little too reminiscent of being bundled into a sack by those trolls. But it wasn't a sack, and it wasn't a troll. Bofur was standing behind him, smiling.

"You keep that for tonight, can't have our burglar catching cold now, can we?"

Bilbo looked down at his shoulders and saw the thick fabric of Bofur's coat. "Oh, Bofur I couldn't-"

"Nonsense. I'll be fine, dwarves are built for this kind of weather." Bilbo hadn't realised just how many layers he was wearing. His undercoat was just as grubby and worn as the coat now draped over his shoulders.

"Thank you, I'll bring it back to you before I go to bed."

"Keep till morning, you've been shaking like a leaf all night." Bilbo pulled it around himself feeling a bit self conscious. Had Bofur really noticed how cold he was? "Don't smoke all my pipeweed, mind. Hardly worth it, with it being so rainy."

He looked up at Bofur, he was smiling so nicely at him. "Of course not."

"We'll have to have a smoke when it's dryer."

"Oh, yes, we-uh should."

"Good night, Bilbo." It caught him off guard, so few of them used his name, calling him The Burglar. Bofur smiled so softly but it reached his eyes.

"Good night, Bofur."

The dwarf headed back into the circle around the fire and Bilbo suddenly felt so much more alone than he had done before. He looked back out at the woods and tugged the coat around himself. It didn't smell very nice, it smelled, unsurprisingly, like wet dwarf but it was warm. He pulled his legs up to his chest and hid as much of himself inside the coat as he could.

One of the pockets did in fact have a tobacco pouch in it. Bilbo had nearly run out himself, so it felt rather like a privilege to be trusted with Bofur's supply. He wondered why this dwarf in particular trusted him so much? Bofur was probably the kindest of the bunch. He was always keeping an eye on him but also on Bombur, Bifur and occasionally the two princes. He was rather maternal really. Bilbo huffed out a laugh, sending the water that clung to his noise flying. The thought of such a macho looking dwarf in a smial doing the housework felt so absurd and yet so fitting.

He felt the stitching under his fingers. He'd have to make it up to Bofur somehow.

He felt guilty when he finally skulcked to bed. In fact he'd intended to give the coat back to Bofur but he was already asleep on his bedroll. So Bilbo curled up under the heavy fabric. The ground was as cold and unforgiving as always but Bofur's warm coat let him sleep far deeper and longer than he had since they set off.

"Good morning, Master Burglar." Bofur smiled at him, Bilbo felt as if he were interrupting a private moment as he stood next to Bofur while he finished re-tying his hair.

"Good morning, thank you. For the coat," he looked away as Bofur tied the last braid. Why did this feel so intimate? He hadn't seen any of them doing their hair before, maybe that was why. "it helped a great deal, I hope you weren't too cold."

"I slept like a rock."

"I thought the expression was 'like a log'." Bofur took the coat from him and pulled it on.

"Maybe for hobbits but dwarves sleep like the rocks they come from." He said with a wink as he did up his buttons. "Best get ready for the off."  
Bilbo blushed a little as Bofur walked away, how did he always sound so happy? This journey had been nothing but disaster after disaster so far.

This was until they got to Rivendell. It was beautiful beyond all of Bilbo's childhood imaginings. The landscape was breathtaking, somehow the perfect balance between strong elegance and delicate foliage. Even the architecture was like that, the statues either side of the entrance had Bilbo in awe. He'd never seen rock look so much like it could have the same softness as skin.

He took a deep breath of the beautiful air. He felt at peace here, it was the antithesis of everything that had happened so far on his journey.

He could just about hear Gandalf speaking elvish, a few of the words were familiar. He wished he'd spent more time on learning it. His skill at reading the language was far greater than his understanding of it being spoken. Then he heard hooves and turned to see elven hunters riding back into Rivendell.

His awe didn't last long as he felt a hand grip his arm and pull him behind Bofur. He thought for a second Bofur had been rough with him from the almost stinging sensation at where Bofur had grabbed him but the sensation didn't stop. A peculiar tingling lingered as he was squashed into the odd defensive circle they had made. He pulled his sleeve up, surely he hadn't bruised that easily.

It wasn't a bruise. His mark was a whirring patch of colours. Red, green and orange swirling on his skin. Bofur. Bofur was his Heartmate. The journey had put all thoughts of finding his Heartmate out of his mind and now he was pressed up against Bofur's back, while he attempted to protect him from elves.

"Bilbo, what's happening to your arm?" Ori asked in a harsh whisper. Apparently he'd also been pushed into the center of the circle.

Bilbo pulled his sleeve back down. "It's nothing."

"That isn't what hobbits look like when they're hurt, is it?" At Ori's question Bofur's head snapped back to look at him.

"No, no, I'm fine."

Bofur glanced back at the elves but then returned his attention to Bilbo's arm. "Did I hurt you?"

"No, Bofur, I'm fine."

As the others put their weapons down Bofur lowered his. He still looked very concerned.

"What does it mean when-"

"Ori, we'll talk about it later." Bilbo hadn't meant to sound harsh but he could feel even the elves' attention turning to them and he hardly wanted to declare what it meant in front of an audience.

He could see some of the elves' marks on their wrists. He'd read that elves had their 'Intended's' name on their wrists. Did dwarves have their own version of this? He'd have to find out.

Elrond was more hospitable than Bilbo could have hoped, he was going to sleep in a bed. A warm, comfortable bed. They were going to dine with elves! It was more than Bilbo could ever have hoped for. Thorin's company however couldn't have been less gracious.

Ori and Bofur hadn't stopped fussing over him since they'd been left to settle in and now Oin was insisting he examine his arm.

"Really, my arm is completely fine."

"It's best to check."

"Can't have you out of action."

"Stop being so squeamish." Oin grumbled as he took hold of Bilbo's arm.

"Get off!"

"I've seen everything, lad there's nothing for you to be embarrassed about."

"Oin, let me go!" Bilbo tugged his arm free and practically fell backwards. "It's just my mark and I do not want you examining it."

Bilbo was suddenly aware the entire Company was looking at him in suspicious silence.

"What's a mark?" Ori asked quietly.

"It's, um.." Bilbo sighed. So dwarves didn't have Heartmates. "It's the way hobbits find their Heartmate." Bilbo stared at his feet, just his luck. Bofur wouldn't understand.

"What's a Heartmate?" Ori's interest had clearly been peeked. He had a notebook out.

"Oh, it's who you're intended to be with. The other who will make you happy and complete." Bilbo answered rather sulkily.

"Oh! It's how you find your One!" Ori declared happily. "Your One is exactly like that."

Bilbo felt relief rush his system. "So you have an equivalent to Heartmates, but you don't have a mark?"

"Oh, well, I suppose we do but we don't call it a mark, and it's not nearly as colourful as yours."

"Well, marks aren't like that until your Heartmate touches you for the first time."

"That's so interesting! We have the first words our One will say to us carved over our hearts. Oh, wouldn't it be lovely if it turned into pretty colours when they said it."

"Ah, the first words they say to you.." His eyes drifted to Bofur, who seemed to be staring in confusion at his hands. What had he first said to Bofur? Probably for him to stop eating everything in his pantry. But that couldn't be, surely Bofur would have said something. Bofur looked up at him, was he blushing? With how much of his face was covered in hair it was hard to say.

Bilbo's stomach gurgled. He'd talk to him after they'd eaten. At Lord Elrond's table! No one back home would believe this, well they'd also be skandelised by him being bound to a male dwarf. It was all unusual, really.

Dinner was delicious. Very light but still filling. It was more than a shame the dwarves were incapable of simply enjoying their present company. At the very least he was sat next to Balin who was able to be civil.

All the names and histories of the swords they'd found was fascinating. He reached for his own sword and Balin did his best to let him down gently.

"It's more of a letter opener, I'm afraid."

"Oh."

He was of course disappointed but he wondered if he could ask Balin about what Ones meant to dwarves.

"I know dwarves don't like to share their customs but I wondered if I could ask you about Ones?"

Balin raised an eyebrow. "I suppose so, but it depends on what it is you want to know."

Bilbo nodded "Of course."

Balin took a sip of wine. "What would you like to know?"

"How would one tell their One that they were in fact their One?"

"Well, you'd know upon meeting. Most have the other's introduction above their heart."

"Of course." Bilbo took a moment to try and phrase this carefully. "How would you proceed after you have discovered your One?"

Balin seemed to be considering the nature of the information he'd be sharing. "Well, you'd begin courting."

"And how would you begin courting?"

Balin didn't seem to like this. "I'm afraid our courting traditions are a private affair Mr. Baggins."

"Right. Yes.. it's just, that I've realised my Heartmate, that is to say my One, is a dwarf. I want to begin properly."

"How could you have only now realised that a member of the company is your One?"

"Hobbits only know once they've touched their Heartmate."

Balin hummed. "I'd talk to them. I'm sure if you are their One they'd be happy to talk to you about our customs."

Biblo nodded. "I do hope I am his One."

He'd taken a long walk around the garden that night while the dwarves, his Heartmate included, burned elven furniture. He could hear them laughing as his fingers ran over the engraved edge of a balcony. He had dreamt of being here for years and now that he was all he could think about was his Heartmate and how to tell him that he was in fact his Heartmate. He had never imagined there would be any telling involved. He'd touch someone and they'd touch him and that would be that. They'd probably be engaged within a fortnight like everyone else in the Shire. Now however, he was left wondering if dwarves even got married. No, Gloin had said he had a wife so dwarves definitely did marry one another.

He took a deep breath, he just needed to get Bofur alone tomorrow and talk to him directly. No point worrying about if they were getting married when he hadn't even wanted to get married this morning.

To bed first. An actual bed. A warm comfortable bed. What a blissful possibility. He hadn't thought about the height of the bed but he did manage to scramble up and slept like, well, like a rock.

Breakfast was divine. The rest of the Company slept through it, probably because of their scandalous house fire last night. Elrond had not been happy about that. Neither was Bilbo if truth be told. All he could say was, he was glad to have been put into a room of his own.

He made his way over to their makeshift "camp" where they all seemed to be up and getting ready for lord knows what.

"Uh, good morning." Bilbo called.

"Morning." Gloin grumbled as he passed Bilbo in the doorway.

"Hey, Bilbo, you want to join?" The grin on Nori's face told Bilbo he probably didn't.

"That depends on what you're doing."

"We're going to go for a swim." Bofur seemed to have popped up from behind Nori. "Are you goin' to come with us?"

Bilbo couldn't help but smile. "It's a rather nice morning for it, I must admit."

Nori grinned and thumped Bilbo on the arm. Which was apparently a show of affection as far as dwarves were concerned. "Good on you lad."

Bilbo cleared his throat a little. "Well, actually I was hoping I could have a word with Bofur first."

"Of course! What do you need?" Bofur asked, immediately standing in front of Bilbo despite the chaos of 11 dwarves all trying to pass them.

"Do you mind if we talk in private? We can join the others after."

Bofur hesitated a little but nodded. "Aye, sure Bilbo."

"Don't you dare miss the fountain!" Nori called as he and the other's left. Some looked over their shoulders at them.

"The fountain?"

"That's where we're going to swim."

"Ah, I might not be joining you then."

Bofur pouted a little. "Shame... well, what did you want to talk about?"

"Oh yes." Bilbo had hoped they'd have done this outside, somewhere more pleasant and smelling less of smoke. "Right." Bilbo closed the door. At least this way they wouldn't have any elves walking past.

"Bilbo, is everything okay?" Bofur looked worried and Bilbo smiled.

"Yes, everything is fine." He went to sit down on the bed and realised just how much climbing would be involved in sitting down so opted instead to pace back and forth a little. "I, um, goodness I'm bad at this."

"Bilbo, if I've done anything wrong-"

"You haven't. I just, well let's just start here." Bilbo rolled up his left sleeve again.

"Your mark." Bofur said very quietly. Bilbo couldn't quite read his sad expression as he stared at the colour on Bilbo's skin.

"You can touch it, if you like." Bofur's eyes flicked up at him with a puzzled look. "Actually, I'd really like you to." The confusion grew in Bofur's eyes but he reached out. "Would you take your gloves off?"

Bofur pulled them off quickly and tentatively let his rough fingers trace a stripe of yellow. Bilbo felt his skin tingle. At Bofur's touch the colours shifted, not as dramatically as they had after their first touch but Bofur pulled back immediately.

"Bilbo- that's, I mean-"

Bilbo pulled his sleeve down. "Well, it's good to confirm it."

"Confirm what?"

"You are my Heartmate, or One as you'd say."

Bofur looked stunned, "I'm, your One?"

Bilbo nodded, his throat drying up a bit as he rocked back and forth. "Yes, obviously if I'm not your  
'One' then I have no expectation of you and I being together."

"No! I mean, you are my One."

"Why didn't you tell me?" Bilbo sounded more exacerbated than he'd meant to.

"I didn't know if hobbits had Ones, besides you were talking like you didn't like dwarves." Bofur was picking at the fabric of his gloves.

"At the time I suppose I didn't. You all did your best to ruin my home." He watched Bofur look guiltily at his twitching hands. "But I don't anymore." Bilbo added. "You've been nothing but kind to me."

"... I know you haven't exactly enjoyed the journey, but I'm so glad you came. I was so worried you wouldn't and you know if you want my bed roll I'm sure you'd sleep better and I've still got plenty of pipeweed which you're welcome to and-" Bilbo took Bofur's hand away from his gloves and squeezed it. "Please don't go.."

"What on middle earth makes you think I'm going anywhere?" Bofur looked so worried Bilbo gave his hand another squeeze. "I don't intend to let my Heartmate go on an adventure without me, no matter how unpleasant."

"It's just, I don't think I'm good enough for you. You're house was so pretty and I can't even really call myself a toymaker anymore. You deserve a King."

Bilbo rested his hands on Bofur's shoulders. "I want my Heartmate." Bofur really was blushing this time and Bilbo couldn't help smiling a little smugly at being the cause. "I want to be with you."

He watched Bofur swallow and nod a little sheepishly as he felt his hands rest on Bilbo's waist. "You're beautiful." He mumbled and Bilbo's stomach churned.

"Am I allowed to kiss you?" He still wasn't sure what courting meant to a dwarf and if they were courting but he definitely wanted to kiss him.

"Of course." Bofur said with a grin.

Bilbo leaned up, tilting his head to the side to press their lips together. It was odd to feel the prickle of hair against his upper lip and cheeks, it contrasted to gentle pressure of Bofur's lips. Then he pulled away and he realised just how light he felt, like he could soar off into the sky and he had goosebumps.

Bofur leaned down and kissed him again. Bilbo felt as if he were intoxicated. He let his fingers move up to the back of Bofur's neck while Bofur pulled him in closer. Bilbo's head wasn't clear enough to think until Bofur pulled away to take a deep breath. "Oh Bilbo." He sighed happily as he leaned back into another kiss.

As Bilbo closed his eyes he realised that his hand was practically entangled in Bofur's hair at the back of his neck. He pulled away, bringing his hand with him. "Sorry." He breathed. He had found out touching a dwarf's hair wasn't alright the hard way. "I didn't mean to touch your hair.."

Bofur smiled, his hand moving to the base of Bilbo's spine. "You're my One, you can touch my hair as much as you'd like."

"Oh," Bilbo could feel his heart beating in his ears. If only he didn't flush so easily. "Well, in that case." Bolbo pulled Bofur's hat off and let his fingers tangle into the base of Bofur's braid. Bofur learned their foreheads against one another, bending round so he could kiss Bilbo again at a particularly ticklish angle.

"It's rather odd to kiss someone with facial hair." He laughed, watching Bofur draw back discerningly quickly. He had the feeling he'd definitely said something wrong. It was rather normal for young hobbits to mess around but by the looks of things that wasn't the case for dwarves.

"You've kissed someone before?"

"Yes, when I was younger. It was a very long time ago, I hope that's alright."

"Aye, it's just, I've never, so, I hope I'm not bad at it."

Bilbo shook his head with a smile. "Trust me, it doesn't normally feel like this."

Bofur leaned his head to the side to kiss him again. This was bliss. Bilbo let his hand rest against Bofur's chest, feeling his heartbeat as Bofur pulled him closer again. He didn't need anything else but this to make him happy.

When the two did finally pull away Bilbo was the one to break away from Bofur's grip. "You ought to join the others, they'll be getting suspicious if you're any later than you already are."

"I don't care what they think." He pulled Bilbo up against him again.

"Well, I think you ought to join them." Bofur pouted and Bilbo rolled his eyes. "I'll come with you, alright?"

Bofur hummed and kissed Bilbo's cheek. "Come swimming with us? With me." He corrected.

"Alright." Had he just become a pushover? He was going to have to work on that.

Bofur smiled giving him another quick peck on the lips. Then he took Bilbo's hand and began to pull him out the door. "Bofur, I forgot to ask you, what are your words?"

Bofur slowed his pace as they walked along the corridor. "Ah, they're rather odd."

Bilbo squeezed his arm. "I'm sorry, I hope you don't have "Get out of my house." written on your chest. I wasn't in the best of moods when we met."

Bofur smiled down at him. "Not quite, your first words to me were "It's supposed to look like that it's crochet." "

Bilbo laughed, "Oh I'm sorry Bofur, having had that on your chest must have been beyond confusing."

"It was! And you weren't even playing crochet when we met! No one was, it was ridiculously frustrating."

Bilbo blinked at Bofur. "Do you mean croquet?"

"What?"

"I think we had a conversation about my dollies, which are crochet but it sounds like you're talking about croquet.." Bilbo was suddenly worried about if he was in fact Bofur's Heartmate.

Bofur frowned, "You just said the same word twice."

"No, I said crochet and croquet."

"Oh. So which one is a game?"

"Croquet."

".. and you'd need balls to play it."

"Yes."

"What kind of balls?"

"I beg your pardon?"

"What kind of balls? Like are they literal balls or are they Balls?" He made a rude gesture that made Bilbo blush as he realised Bofur was talking about testicles.

"Literal balls."

Bofur nodded, "Good, good. I've wanted to know that for decades."

"I- no, I'm not going to ask. But I would like to know which one is written on your chest."

"I'm not sure how they're spelled.."

"Well, maybe I ought to check."

"... Bilbo, it's in Dwarvish."

"Ah. Right." Bilbo felt dread take a good fistfull of his stomach and twist.

"I can get Ori to check, he's very well read." Bilbo nodded and watched as Bofur's concern grew. "It has to be the one you said to me, who else would say such an odd sentence." Bilbo hit his chest in frustration at the bad joke. Bofur laughed and kissed his forehead. "I love you."

Bilbo looked up at him, "What if it turns out I'm not your One?"

"Like I said, I would bet anything never hearing someone else saying "It's supposed to look like that, it's crochet." to me again."

"All the same, lets go check, alright?" Bofur nodded and held tight to Bilbo's arm as they walked to the fountain.

Nothing had Bilbo prepared for the sheer amount of naked hairy dwarf that met his eyes. He pulled his hand away and covered his eyes.

"You happened to not mention the skinny dipping." He glanced at Bofur and his jaw dropped. He was unbuttoning his coat. "What are you doing?"

"I'm going swimming."

"I- you- oh my." Bilbo looked up at the sky. This wasn't happening. Thirteen. Thirteen! Naked dwarves running around in an elvish fountain. One of which was his Heartmate.

"Besides, I can't get the spelling of my words checked with my shirt on."

"Please just keep your trousers on."

He could hear Bofur's grin as he replied. "Might be a little distracting for you, eh?"

"Just get Ori to check your words so I can leave you heavethens alone." Bilbo was still watching the tops of the trees as he began to be dragged towards thr fountain. "I don't need to come with you!"

"Yes you do! How am I meant to know which crochet he's talking about?"

"It's crochet and croquet! They sound completely different." Bilbo lowered his voice as all the dwarves wrestling turned to look at him. There was just so much hair and muscles everywhere.

Bofur looked back at him, smiling, still wearing his trousers and his hat. Thankfully. "We'll have it sorted in a jiffy, promise."

"You two, get your kit off!" Came a cry from the water followed by a lot of laughter.

"Ori, can I get some help." Bofur really didn't seem to care that Ori jumped out of the fountain with everything on display. "My words, I need to check they're spelt right." He declared pointing at his chest, which Bilbo could now see properly.

The words looked as if they'd been carved into his hair-covered chest. It didn't look like a scar however, it looked like a deep grey stone under his skin. He couldn't take his eyes off of the runes that marked Bofur.

Ori looked as innocently confused and interested as if this conversation was completely normal to be carried out naked. "What do you mean?"

Bofur went to open his mouth and Bilbo thought he'd avoid explaining this twice to Ori. "Does it say crouchet or croquet?"

Ori looked a little confused but glanced over the writing. "It says crochet, like the form of knitting."

Bilbo breathed a sigh of relief and Bofur smiled at him warmly "That was the right one, right?"

"Yes, it's the one I would have said." Bilbo said blushing a little at the audience they had for this and blushing lots at Bofur's piercing he'd just noticed.

"Great! Well, will you be joining us?" Bofur had now begun undoing his last remaining layers.

"Absolutely not." Bofur pouted again as Bilbo began to turn, ready to run away. "I'll see you at dinner." He called as he heard the Company's volume go from polite conversation to rowdy ruckus. That was no place for respectable hobbits.

He hadn't, however, accounted for turning around Fili and Kili. Nude and grinning like an idiot.

"Come on, just a dip." Said Kili while Bilbo tried not to stare at the lettering carved into their skin.

"No thank you." Bilbo huffed indignantly.

Fili laughed, "Come on Kili!"

Then each grabbed one of Bilbo's arms and began swinging at him. Bilbo squealed as he was tossed on the count of three and flailed his way through the air landing with an enormous splash. His stomach burned from the inelegant impact on the water's surface and he gasped for air as he stood up. Wiping his eyes he could hear all the company laughing and could see a great deal more of them from in the fountain than he wanted to.

"Bilbo, are you okay?" Bofur had rushed into the water after him. Without his hat and trousers.

"No I bloody well am not." Bilbo was pretty sure he looked like a drowned rat.

A loud chorus from all the dwarves came "That's what Bilbo Baggins hates!" Causing much laughter as Bofur pushed his hair out of his eyes.

"No more colourful bruises, I hope." Bilbo looked down at his arm, his mark, and a great deal other things were now visible through his white shirt.

"Only one. Bofur, why did you take your trousers off?" Bilbo averted his eyes again but currently there wasn't really anywhere safe to look.

"No point getting them all wet like yours." Bilbo huffed in reply. "Best get you out now you've had your dip." With that Bilbo was swept up in Bofur's arms. A princess pick wasn't the most dignified but it lost all dignity when the lads called "Wa-heh-ey!" and "Go on! Get some!"

Bilbo struggled against Bofur's chest in protest but as his left arm hit against Bofur's chest he felt as if he'd been struck by one of Gandalf's whizzpoppers. Bofur froze, gripping Bilbo tight and Bilbo withdrew his arm.

"Did you feel that?"

"Aye." Bofur looked down at him, "Didn't know they could do that."

"Me neither.." Bilbo felt a little in shock as he was carried out of the elvish fountain.

"You alright on your own?"

Bilbo nodded. "I'll dry off in my room."

"Alright, I'll see you later then." Bofur looked a little disappointed.

"You know, I was given a room of my own.." Bilbo spoke quietly. He knew this was a bit presumptuous. "and you'd be more than welcome to spent tonight with me, so we can have a chance to talk again, privately."

Bofur grinned, "I'd like that a lot."

"And between you and me, these elvish bed are a little high for me to get in and out of safety."

"Well, we can't be having that." Bofur said with a wink. "See you soon."

"See you soon." This time Bilbo was let to squeltsh away from the rowdy dwarves.

Bofur sat down smugly at the breakfast table.

"Where were you last night?"

Bofur grinned. "I stayed in Bilbo's room."

"Don't go letting all of Rivendell know about it." Bilbo said as he sat next to Bofur. He looked particularly pleased with himself as the Company all stared at the two of them.

"I knew it." It was the loudest Bilbo had ever heard Bombur so it made him jump.

Then Bifur began saying something in Khuzdul that had the company laughing and Bofur's cheeks growing red with embarrassment.

"We're not doing this." Bofur said and Bifur's reply in Kuhuzdul again won him loud laughter.

"I bet he has the bigger balls of both of you." Dwalin commented and barked out a laugh as Bofur tried to laugh it off.

"I mean he had the balls to tell a bunch of trolls to skin us."

Bilbo took his hand in his. "I think that's enough lewd conversation for one breakfast."

"If you two are courting, why don't you have courting braids?" Gloin asked gruffly.

"Bilbo doesn't know how to do a courting braid, and his hair's too short for me to braid." He answered quickly.

"My hair will grow quickly." Bilbo gave Bofur's hand another little squeeze.

"He says he has to cut his hair every few weeks to keep it that short!" Bofur's shocked tone was echoed around the table.

"So , it'll be long enough for you to do whatever you want to it very soon."

Bilbo endured a lot of grumbling about how disrespectable that was. What a shame, Bilbo could actually have a decent amount of hair on his head.

When most of the dwarves had finished eating Ori managed to sit opposite the new couple. "So, did you find out the difference?"

"Oh, yeah! Enlighten us, how do you play croquet?" Bofur had turned excitedly to Bilbo.

Bilbo sighed. "I had hoped you'd forgotten."

"Never!" Ori giggled at Bofur's childishness that had Bilbo rolling his eyes.

"Well, ideally you play it on a flat bit of lawn. You set out these small archways, called whickets, for the actual balls to go through."

"Careful, you'll get me all hot and bothered." Bilbo swatted at him as Bombur sat down next to them to finish off the leftovers.

"Stop it, or I'm not telling you." Bofur leaned his head on his hand. "You use a mallet to hit the balls-"

"What like the tool?"

"No, it's a small wooden hammer."

Bombur and Bofur looked as if they were holding in laughter. "So, um," Bofur choked out, "you hit the balls with your wooden hammer... through the hole?"

"Yes." Bilbo answered with much regret. Both brothers began falling about laughing.

"You mean it?" Bofur panted. "That's the game I've been worrying about for over 50 years?"

"It's not dirty." Bofur only replied with wheezing laughter. "It's your dirty minds that's doing that, it's a perfectly respectable game."

As they left Rivendell Bilbo looked back. It had felt so much like a second home. It was beautiful beyond words and Elrond had offered for him to stay. To live with elves was such an appealing thought but Rivendell would also always be the place he found out Bofur was his Heartmate. He couldn't stay while Bofur left. Still it pulled his Baggins against his Tookishness in a horrible way.

"Come on Master Burglar." Thorin called.

"Bilbo, are you okay?" Bofur was at his side and holding his hand immediately.

Bilbo smiled at him. This was why he was going, keep your focus on that stupid hat and moustash. "Yes, sorry, I'm fine."

As they walked away from Rivendell Bilbo did his best not to look back and instead kept his focus on Bofur's hand holding his.


End file.
